Are You Really Driving the Car?

I am going to touch on some nerves in this blog. And, quite likely, stir up some controversy as well. Stick with me even if what I say seems outlandish. When you come to terms with it, many of your problems will simply vanish. Poof! Just like that!

My grandson, Krish, visited me with his family a few months back. I took him to an amusement park close to where we live. One of the attractions was a ride in a car that was a mini roller coaster. The car had a steering wheel.

“Would you like to drive that car?” I asked Krish.

His eager, four-year-old face lit up. Yes, he wanted to. We took the ride, and he turned the steering wheel with gusto. He loved it so much we did it again.

“Was I a good driver, Tatha?” he asked me, his face shining.

“You are the best driver in the world,” I assured him.

How do you tell a four-year-old kid that the ride is pre-programmed and whatever he does to the steering wheel has zero impact?

Now, look at your life. You are dead sure that you made many decisions – the person you married, the company you joined, the business you started, the stocks and ETFs you bought, the neighborhood you live in and more.

You think of yourself as a free agent who constantly learns and acts. You see the mistakes others make and learn from them. You make mistakes yourself and correct them. You see people who are tremendously successful and study what they did to discover the ‘secret’ of their success. You believe that you, too, will be equally successful if you apply that ‘secret’.

In other words, you are absolutely convinced that ‘you are driving the car.’

But what if you are not the driver? What if all your effort is exactly like Krish turning the steering wheel on the amusement park ride?

I have written about this in an earlier blog.

The great sage Ramana Maharshi asserted that some Higher Power created the cosmos and is orchestrating everything down to the littlest detail like how much salad you will have at dinner tomorrow.

“But then what about my free will?” sputtered a devotee?

“You always have the choice of being the ‘doer’ or not being the ‘doer’’’ responded the Maharshi.

This is profound.

We spend our entire life regretting the things that went ‘wrong’ and what we could have done and should have done to make them ‘right’. And we exult at the things that went ‘right.’

When you really, deeply, completely accept that you are not the driver, then both regret and exultation drop away.

And a deep joy enters your life, and this joy never goes away.

My students push back at this. “If everything is preordained, why should I ‘do’ anything?” they say. “Let me lie back and watch TV all day.”

Well, you will not be able to “lie back and watch TV all day” unless that, too, was the Higher Power’s plan for you. Just try it.

Second, your innate tendencies – in India these are called vasanas – will impel you into action. This happens willy-nilly despite your intentions.

So, what do you do? What can you do?

Simple. Watch the movie of your life unfold. By all means strive to direct this movie but recognize that you are merely turning the steering wheel the in car that is going on a pre-programmed ride.

And savor the bliss that comes as you become firmly ensconced in the knowledge that you are not the doer and never have been.

Peace!

I have taken you into some deep waters. If you would like further exploration of these topics, please reply and let me know.